I’m a natural-born people pleaser.
I have always sought to please others: doing things to help them out and to impress them. To make them like me.
But as I became more and more overwhelmed doing things for other people and not having enough time to look after myself, I realised something.
At the end of the day, no one really cares about you.
I know this sounds negative but hear me out. What I’m trying to say is that no one can care about you as much as you yourself do.
Sure you’ve got your parents, friends, and partners who love you and are always happy to help you from time to time. But the truth is, you’re never at the top of anyone else’s minds, whether it’s friends, family or otherwise.
If you don’t put your own well-being and happiness before others, no one else will.
How much time do you spend on you?
How often do we block time in the calendar for ourselves? We fill our schedules with work and meetings but we hardly think that we are important enough to dedicate time to ourselves in our own schedules.
If you don’t fill your time with your own priorities, others will fill it in for you.
And I’ve been there. Overwhelmed and burnt out, busy as hell and yet I felt like I’ve accomplished nothing. All those times I was living for others, I had forgotten about me, and what’s really important for myself.
And so I started saying no to others, and started saying “yes” more often to myself.
“Yes” to making time to eat well, to exercising, to meditating, to taking long walks at the beach, to getting massages, to journaling, and, above all, to spending time with myself.
Self-care is not selfish
I believe that caring for yourself is extremely important for our health, happiness and productivity.
Self-care is about putting yourself first but it is not at all selfish. It’s about identifying your own physical, emotional and spiritual needs and taking steps to meet them. It is about taking the time to take proper care of yourself and treating yourself as kindly as you try to treat others.
I’m being reminded of this necessity as the pressure of work, life, and business build up. Not just saying no to people and opportunities in order to focus on what’s really important to me, but to stop trying so hard to be the perfect wife, daughter, worker, colleagues, friend, etc., and treating myself with love and care as I do others.
So friends, if you’re feeling overwhelmed and stressed out, take a moment to step back and ask yourself – are you looking after yourself and not just others?
Because if it’s not you, then who? If it’s not now, then when?
Sending you lots of love.